http://biz-munchee.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] biz-munchee.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] remixredux092009-07-12 05:29 pm

Cantando More (The Ode to Sheppard’s Cock Remix) (Stargate: Atlantis, Katak/Sheppard, NC-17)

Title: Cantando More (The Ode to Sheppard’s Cock Remix)
Author: [livejournal.com profile] elementalv
Summary: Katak will prove himself worthy of Colonel’s affections.
Rating: NC-17
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Pairing: Katak/Colonel
Original Story: Think Of Atlantis is a pretty little tale of want by [livejournal.com profile] kassrachel, and it’s been one of my favorite fics for a goodly while now. If you like your porn porny, this probably isn't the story for you. Likewise, if you like your romance romantic, this probably won't cut it. In short, Kass, I apologize for what I did to your OC. Really.

~*~*~

Never had a man been so blessed as Katak, and if he hadn’t in been in the middle of negotiations with these bright and shining visitors, he would have prostrated himself before the hosts of Heaven and thanked Agathull Herself for finding him worthy of one such as Colonel Sheppard. Truly, the man was made flesh all that Katak found beautiful and lovely.

And if Katak found himself drawing out the negotiations for the chance to watch Sheppard — or, dare he use the man’s given name? — Colonel — then no one could possibly blame him. Was it not written that beauty should be worshipped wherever it was found? That such worship was like unto devotion to Agathull and all her Handmaidens? That such worship was the holiest of all rituals? Of course it was, and Katak, leader of the Thulls, was a most devout man.

Still, the talks had gone on long enough, and Colonel — just thinking the name gave Katak a pleasurable thrill — despite his generosity of spirit and civilized manner, seemed to be growing a bit restive. It was time to draw things to a close, so smiling broadly, Katak said, “I think we can reach some accommodation. In return for the medical assistance and the technology you have promised, the module will be yours.”

Such a small price to pay for the riches Colonel and his people promised, Katak thought, feeling somewhat guilty over the trade. Never mind that the imperious one could barely contain his glee over the trade — Colonel himself seemed somewhat indifferent. Katak decided he would have to make a good showing when the time came. Perhaps then Colonel would smile as brightly as the midday sun.

He continued, “Of course, we must seal our negotiations in the time-honored manner of my people.”

“Naturally,” said the Athosian. Tepa? Tarla? It was an ill omen that Katak couldn’t remember her proper name, though really, with Colonel in front of him, it was a wonder Katak could remember his own name.

He spoke a bit more loudly to cover his discomfort, saying, “We will gather in the Hall of Assembly. The leader of your party —” He swallowed hard and hoped no one would notice the hitch in his voice. Katak was certain he was correct, but there had been that one time when he’d completely misread the trading group, and he wasn’t sure he could bear it if the same thing happened with this group. He continued, “—That is you, Colonel Sheppard, is it not?”

At Colonel’s nod, Katak relaxed. “You must be brought to the point of death and beyond, at the hands of one of our party.” Katak smiled gently at the thought of allowing anyone but himself making Colonel die. “I will do the honors.”

There was a squawk of outrage from Makee, and when Katak understood what Makee was saying, he very nearly launched himself at the man. Trusted advisor of Colonel or not, he had no right to imply that Katak would harm even one hair on Colonel’s head. Fortunately for all, Tarla pulled Makee away and talked sense into him, though judging by the way Makee continued to glare at him, it seemed to Katak that perhaps Makee was jealous.

Katak turned the thought over in his head a few times and decided he had the right of it. And having determined the source of Makee’s antagonism, Katak forgave him, for was it not written that of all the gifts one can bestow upon a stranger, forgiveness was the most revered by Agathull?

Besides, had Katak been in Makee’s shoes, he would have seethed with jealousy as well.

~*~*~

Katak settled into his seat in the Hall of Assembly. Though he was only a caretaker for the next generation of leaders, he felt his pride in the space was amply justified. Had it not been for his efforts, the room would have looked much poorer than it did, and that simply wouldn’t have done for Colonel. As it was, the walls gleamed in the mellow light of tallow candles, and the mural of the dakah in mid-flight had never seemed so full of life and meaning.

He paused in his ruminations, thinking he was perhaps seeing more in the Hall than was actually there, but then Colonel entered, and the gentle beauty of the Hall paled in comparison to the vibrant presence of Colonel. For a long moment, Katak could do nothing but stare like a sun-struck whiglig. He shook his head with an embarrassed grin and stood to speak to his people and Colonel’s.

“Friends,” he began. “Rarely are we afforded the opportunity to trade with partners such as represented by Colonel Sheppard and his vassals. They come to us in peace, offering their healing gifts and technology in exchange for but one of the small baubles left to our people by the Ancestors. In truth, I feel we are offering a poor trade, but Sheppard assures me this is not the case.”

Everyone applauded, though with restraint, Katak was pleased to note. The bargain was announced, but not sealed, and it would be inappropriate to express enthusiasm at this stage. He could, however, see that they looked forward to shouting their approval of the trade, so Katak continued, “In honor of this auspicious occasion, the milksha from Praneth will sing our praises of Agathull’s most favored songbird. Children?”

As the boys started “Singing Death,” he nodded to the Patriarch of Agathull, who stepped off the dais and walked over to Colonel. The pair exchanged greetings, and Colonel smiled broadly at something the Patriarch said. Katak chewed on his thumbnail and tried desperately to ignore a surge of jealousy. It didn’t matter what Patriarch Galor said or how he made Colonel grin, in the end, Colonel would find his death at Katak’s hands and mouth, and really, that was all that counted.

When the milksha finished the hymn, the Patriarch led Colonel to the Chair of Ancestors with perhaps more touching than was strictly warranted. Katak would have objected, but Galor’s actions would ultimately be judged by Agathull, who would no doubt deal firmly with the situation once Galor returned to Her home.

Katak could almost feel sorry for him. Almost.

“O-kay,” Colonel said, gazing at the Chair. “You want me to —”

“Sit,” Katak said, barely containing his impatience to prove to Colonel that he, Katak, was worthy. He waved off Garol, who continued to hover in defiance of propriety.

“I don’t need to — slip into anything a little more comfortable?”

Katak would have preferred it, in truth, but nothing in the Ritual of Trade Accords allowed for it. “Your garments are — unfamiliar to me. But I trust you can assist,” he said, gesturing toward the promising bulge of Colonel’s Staff of Life.

Colonel offered no objections, simply reaching down to release his staff to the holy air of the Hall of Assembly, and oh —! Katak fell to his knees at the sight of it. The size was as magnificent as Katak suspected, but the deformity was something he hadn’t anticipated. Was Colonel’s staff truly so large when erect that its sheath had fallen off at some point in the past? Katak had never heard of such a thing happening, but perhaps it had something to do with the way Colonel’s staff curved downward instead of up.

He reached out to Colonel’s staff, which remained limp in his hand, then looked up to see if he was causing Colonel pain. What he saw — a wry acceptance of the cruel trick fate had pulled on him — was more than enough confirmation that Katak was right to want to ensure Colonel’s joy that day.

Katak smiled and gripped Colonel’s staff more firmly before twisting his hand upward, checking all the way to see if he was causing pain instead of pleasure. Without its sheath to protect it, Colonel’s staff was oddly vulnerable, and Katak wanted desperately to protect it during this very necessary ritual. Colonel’s sudden inhalation was a bit confusing — Katak thought at first it was one of pain — but then Colonel’s hips pushed up and into Katak’s grip, and it was clear that Colonel was experiencing his first tender moments of bliss.

Colonel’s staff hardened and lengthened, and Katak marveled at its liveliness, the way the downward curving head seemed to seek out Katak’s warmth. Each time he moved his hand down, Colonel’s staff seemed ready to leap free, and as for Colonel himself, well. Katak looked up to see him lean back and close his eyes in pleasure. He would have — should have — spent a full ten gims working Colonel’s staff with his hand, but the musk that signaled Colonel’s arousal was too much for Katak to ignore. He simply had to have a taste.

He bent slowly, both to savor the moment and Colonel’s taste, and it was as well he did, because he might have embarrassed himself otherwise. Of all his forebearers, only three out of the more than two hundred named in the Histories had shamed themselves by taking their completion in the Hall of Assembly. Until that moment, Katak had never understood how such a thing could happen, but with Colonel’s staff heavy and full of life upon his tongue, he nearly became the fourth to dishonor the people of Agathull.

Rather than disgrace himself, Katak concentrated on the Ritual Laving, tracing each of the veins on Colonel’s staff with his tongue, slowly and repeatedly. The lack of a sheath was still quite strange, and Katak caught himself licking around the head repeatedly in an effort to locate something not there. He glanced up and continued the endless circling, for it was clear that Colonel was quite touched by Katak’s attention to that detail.

As for Katak, he found himself having to press down hard on his own arousal more and more often. He had thought Colonel’s scent was intoxicating, but it was nothing compared to his taste. Salty and bitter, yes, but exotic nevertheless. He found himself attempting to chase down the flavor, and in doing so, he felt the first wash of Colonel’s death flood his mouth. He groaned then Colonel’s hips surged upward in response, and in another moment, Katak was swallowing Colonel’s gift to him.

He could barely hear the applause over the roar of his blood pumping through his veins and with the taste of Colonel’s seed on his tongue, Katak found it difficult to move back as he should. The ritual was over far too soon for his own sake, but Colonel looked down at him with gratitude and, dared he hope, more than a bit of longing.

Katak gazed at Colonel for a long moment and felt a perfect understanding with him. Later that night, after the feast, he would find Colonel again, and they would come together as men should — with the strength of their passion forging a bond stronger than steel.

Oh, yes, Katak thought. It will be glorious.

[identity profile] kassrachel.livejournal.com 2009-07-19 09:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Ahahahahaha omg! This is awesome. It never in a million years occurred to me to wonder what this story looked like from Katak's POV. When I got to dare he use the man’s given name? — Colonel I laughed out loud. Oh, this is so totally fabulous. I love the way you take the original story (which is a clichéfest and a half) and turn it on its head! This is made of awesome. Thank you so much, Remixer! You rock!

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:12 pm (UTC)(link)
So, yeah. Imagine the look on my face when I receive my remix assignment, and she's my team captain for McShep Match. Doh!

Anyway, thank you for letting me play in your sandbox and doing what I did to Katak (he seriously cried out for the full heroic treatment; too bad he ended up with what I did to him). And now that Remix is revealed, it's time to start thinking about McShep Match.

[flails a little]

(no subject)

[identity profile] kassrachel.livejournal.com - 2009-07-26 23:02 (UTC) - Expand
wolfshark: (Default)

[personal profile] wolfshark 2009-07-19 10:38 pm (UTC)(link)
This was *awesome*

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks! I had fun with it.

[identity profile] stultiloquentia.livejournal.com 2009-07-19 10:39 pm (UTC)(link)
*snickers and snickers some more* Brilliant!

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you kindly!
ext_21:   (Default)

[identity profile] zvi-likes-tv.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 02:58 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, this is an excellent use of the most basic remix tool of all, the POV switch. And you kept the humor, maybe even amped it up a little.

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you for this, and thank you for the comments you made in your journal about Cantando More. I'm pleased with the way the story turned out.

[identity profile] ceitie.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 03:04 am (UTC)(link)
Hee! Oh, poor Katak.

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, good! I wanted people to feel sorry for him because of his doomed love.
ext_1155: (SGA: OMG It's a Date by blimey_icons)

[identity profile] raine-wynd.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 07:05 am (UTC)(link)
Awesome remix, well told in its own right as an outside POV fic. Great job!

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I love the unreliable narrative, and Katak worked beautifully for that.

[identity profile] sihayab.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 07:58 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, a remix worthy of the name! Great handling of the POV shift, wonderful humor, and still incredibly hot!

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Kind words indeed, and I thank you for them. Katak was fun to play with.
ext_230: a tiny green frog on a very red leaf (shiny things)

[identity profile] anatsuno.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 10:21 am (UTC)(link)
What an awesome remix AMTDI! You rock.

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks! For myself, I always wonder what the aliens are thinking, you know?

[identity profile] almostnever.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 11:16 am (UTC)(link)
Wonderful-- I totally love that Katak is distraught over Colonel's "deformed" lack of foreskin.

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Katak is a thoughtful, generous and caring man among men. He's also just a bit worried about Colonel's sheath, because really, it going missing just isn't right.

[identity profile] bluebrocade.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 04:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Fascinating to see it from his POV. Great ending!

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks! This was a fun POV shift to write.

[identity profile] yinkawills.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Brilliant!

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you!
esteefee: Ronon smirking at someone offscreen. (smirk)

[personal profile] esteefee 2009-07-20 07:43 pm (UTC)(link)
This was so brilliant: it was funny yet poignant at the same time. Poor Katak. Yet I think he got what he wanted, and god so funny.

Besides, had Katak been in Makee’s shoes, he would have seethed with jealousy as well.

HEE! Love how the outsider pinpoints what's going on with Makee before anyone else.

Patriarch led Colonel to the Chair of Ancestors with perhaps more touching than was strictly warranted. Katak would have objected, but Galor’s actions would ultimately be judged by Agathull, who would no doubt deal firmly with the situation once Galor returned to Her home.

May the Patriarch burn in HELL. ~:

Really, a brilliant remix.


[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Garol will get what's coming to him (and it won't be Colonel — Katak will make sure of that). And yes, Katak's night isn't going to go the way he wants, but that's the price of leadership for you. If he'd been allowed to leave the feast when he wanted to, then maybe he would have gotten there before Rodney did.
noracharles: (Default)

[personal profile] noracharles 2009-07-20 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
This was both funny and hot. I really like Katak, and the pride and pleasure he takes in his culture.

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Katak is rightfully proud of his people and culture. He's also rightfully proud of a certain skill set he has. Too bad he won't be able to introduce Colonel to the rest of it.

(no subject)

[personal profile] noracharles - 2009-07-26 16:51 (UTC) - Expand
ext_2047: (Default)

[identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com 2009-07-21 12:06 am (UTC)(link)
Eeeee, I love that scene in Kass's story and it is so lovely to have more of it here, with Katak's sweet longing and pleasure all mixed up with the humor. Of course, poor Katak won't be able to live out his fantasy for later that night, but I'm sure he'll be sympathetic with and happy for "Makee," and at least he has this ritual to keep him warm for years to come. :)

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Katak will drown his sorrows for the next several days, but then his wife will slap him up 'longside the head and tell him to get over himself already, and by the way, that trade delegation from Pileos is due in next week...

Same old, same old, you know?

[identity profile] dodificus.livejournal.com 2009-07-21 08:29 am (UTC)(link)
to watch Sheppard — or, dare he use the man’s given name? — Colonel —

Oh Katak. Why are you so awesome?

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:52 pm (UTC)(link)
One doesn't get to be the leader of the Thulls without being awesomesauce with a side of cool beans.

[identity profile] secondsilk.livejournal.com 2009-07-21 01:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Colonel’s Staff of Life. Oh, dear me.
I loved the name thing (this needs to happen more in SGA fic). And Katak's point of view, how strange the visitors and how natural the customs.

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:53 pm (UTC)(link)
It occurred to me that there are probably a *lot* of cultures in Pegasus that think Sheppard's given name is Colonel and that his title is John.
jain: Ronon Dex's face. Text: "Jain" (jain ronon)

[personal profile] jain 2009-07-22 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)
This is hilarious and oddly charming. I feel a little sorry for Katak, though. :-( Great job!

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks! Also, Katak will get over the heartbreak. Eventually. I'm sure of it.

copracat: John Sheppard with a determined expression and the text 'Plan B: Sex with Rodney' (atlantis - plan B)

[personal profile] copracat 2009-07-23 02:58 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, poor Katak! What a great remix you've made.

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Katak was pretty much doomed from the start. But thank you for your comment, because even if he can't appreciate it, I do.
ext_3548: (Zelenka)

[identity profile] shayheyred.livejournal.com 2009-07-24 12:56 am (UTC)(link)
Dying of delight, here. You've written a masterpiece.

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! This was a fun story to write.

[identity profile] mtranc3.livejournal.com 2009-07-24 01:57 pm (UTC)(link)
This was brilliant! A very clever, funny and well-written remix of the original! I loved how Katak misinterpreted their names. 'Makee'!!! :D

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you kindly. As for Katak, his brain isn't working as well as it usually does, and that's because Colonel is just so damn pretty.

[identity profile] livrelibre.livejournal.com 2009-07-25 10:21 pm (UTC)(link)
This was great outsider POV!

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[identity profile] tex.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 03:08 am (UTC)(link)
What an original take on Kass's story. Excellent!

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 04:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks! I'm always curious about the alien POV in AMTDI stories, and "Think of Atlantis" was the perfect story for exploring it.

[identity profile] eleveninches.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 09:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Ha ha HA. I love this. And this line just about killed me: And if Katak found himself drawing out the negotiations for the chance to watch Sheppard — or, dare he use the man’s given name? — Colonel —

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Katak really is a romantic at heart, but he's very concerned about taking too many, um, liberties with Colonel. He wouldn't want to seem forward or anything.

[identity profile] melagan.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 10:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Hehee, this is awesome!

the Ritual Laving Dear heaven, Yes!!!

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-07-26 11:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Well. You know. It's really, really important to make sure your guest is cleaned up from their, um, travels? Yeah. Travels. Plus, that whole sitting still thing for three days? Anyway, Katak is sure Colonel appreciated it.
paranoidangel: PA (Jack/Elizabeth)

[personal profile] paranoidangel 2009-08-01 05:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I love Katak's POV and personality in this. Especially that he think Colonel is Shep's first name!

[identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com 2009-08-01 06:02 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm glad you enjoyed it. I always wondered what the indigenous people thought about Sheppard's title and whether they realized that's what it was.

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