I don't know HOW I've managed to get along without knowing how sex ed is handled at Hogwarts but I'll have these images seared in my brain now forever! And it's all your fault!

When at last, after what seemed like a week, the lesson ended she all too cheerfully said, "Throw those condoms away, they're no use now. But you can eat the bananas if you like."

None of them could leave the classroom quickly enough.

"I'm never eating a banana again," James said.

Nods and murmurs indicated everyone else agreed and Sirius thought he might be sick if he ever saw one again.

The worst of it was that after that, it completely put Sirius off wanking for a month: whenever he started he had an image of McGonagall in his mind and she was the biggest mood killer he'd ever known. It made him wonder for a while after that if it wasn't normal to do it that often after all, and the whole point of the lesson had been not to educate them about sex, but rather put them off the idea completely. If so, it had worked. Sirius made it all the way to seventeen before he cornered Remus and discovered just how good his masturbation technique was on someone else.

Hahahahahahahahhahah!!!!