Oh, wow! This is absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much for writing it! ♥
I'm trying (and failing!) to pick out what I love the most, here. There's so much I'm squeeing about; I don't know where to start!
I love--love--the tone of this. You've captured Obi-Wan's sadness beautifully, the bleakness of his life on Tatooine, the sharp contrast between the hot, lonely desert and the stars he can't reach anymore. The writing itself made me shiver repeatedly. The original was very spare in parts, especially the Obi-Wan parts, and I think you've done a better job here than I did, with a longer fic that still packs the punch of just one or two lines. In other words, sometimes I think expanding a fic (or expanding on a specific part of a fic) in a remix doesn't work, just adds unnecessary stuff, but that is not the case at all here. Everything feels absolutely necessary.
The writing flows beautifully and still has that very spare, stark feel, which I think is absolutely perfect for Obi-Wan as a character. I'm left very much with the sense of the stars above and the swirling sand (and memories) and lonely wastes, and I think, more than anything, the quiet strength of Obi-Wan comes through beautifully.
I really love the choices you've made here, too. I like that you focused on Obi-Wan, who was really sidelined in the original and mainly used as a foil for Anakin. Here he gets his own story, and that makes me so happy! And it's just so damn good! I love the Sand People as potential allies and Obi-Wan leaving gifts for Luke that get returned.
This is just gorgeous. For what it's worth, I think it absolutely works as a remix, in addition to being a beautiful fic on its own.
Again, thank you so much for remixing! This was a joy to read.
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I'm trying (and failing!) to pick out what I love the most, here. There's so much I'm squeeing about; I don't know where to start!
I love--love--the tone of this. You've captured Obi-Wan's sadness beautifully, the bleakness of his life on Tatooine, the sharp contrast between the hot, lonely desert and the stars he can't reach anymore. The writing itself made me shiver repeatedly. The original was very spare in parts, especially the Obi-Wan parts, and I think you've done a better job here than I did, with a longer fic that still packs the punch of just one or two lines. In other words, sometimes I think expanding a fic (or expanding on a specific part of a fic) in a remix doesn't work, just adds unnecessary stuff, but that is not the case at all here. Everything feels absolutely necessary.
The writing flows beautifully and still has that very spare, stark feel, which I think is absolutely perfect for Obi-Wan as a character. I'm left very much with the sense of the stars above and the swirling sand (and memories) and lonely wastes, and I think, more than anything, the quiet strength of Obi-Wan comes through beautifully.
I really love the choices you've made here, too. I like that you focused on Obi-Wan, who was really sidelined in the original and mainly used as a foil for Anakin. Here he gets his own story, and that makes me so happy! And it's just so damn good! I love the Sand People as potential allies and Obi-Wan leaving gifts for Luke that get returned.
This is just gorgeous. For what it's worth, I think it absolutely works as a remix, in addition to being a beautiful fic on its own.
Again, thank you so much for remixing! This was a joy to read.